How Can We Break the Rosh Hashanah Groundhog Day Cycle?
Just because you can’t see your spiritual gains, it doesn’t mean they're not there
Along with an appetite for apples dipped in honey, this time of year always comes with an extra helping of overthinking and anxiety. As we get closer to the “Day of Judgment,” I can’t help but think back to last year's Rosh Hashanah, all the resolutions I made, all the high hopes I had for myself, all the spiritual growth I believed I would achieve over the year. And yet, here I find myself again, a year older, maybe a little bit wiser, but still very much the same person I was last year, facing many, if not all (and more!) of the same challenges I was grappling with last year.
And as much as Rosh Hashanah brings with it a fresh slate to do things better and differently, it also brings the echoes of Rosh Hashanahs past. In Judaism, time isn’t just a straight line moving forward. Every day on the Jewish calendar carries the energy and echoes of the past. I think of it as a circular calendar, where each day is stacked on top of the same day from years before, all connected. The events of the past don’t fade—they keep influencing the present, so we experience those same energies "in those days, at this time." Each moment holds the weight of its history, and nothing really stands on its own.
So it’s only natural to feel ourselves (because I’m assuming I’m not the only one) in this place, feeling like “What is going to be different this year?” “Am I really going to make the spiritual progress I keep promising?” “Is this process even working?”
In Rabbi Alan Lew’s phenomenal book, This is Real and You Are Completely Unprepared, he talks about the challenge of facing the same demons year after year:
What is the recurring disaster in our life? What is the unresolved element that keeps bringing us back to this same moment over and over again? What is it that we keep getting wrong? What is it that we persistently refuse to look at, fail to see?
And that’s the hard truth: Sometimes we are stuck. We keep coming back to the same point, not because we’re failing, but because there’s something we haven’t fully confronted yet.
At the same time, we shouldn’t assume that just because we don’t see change, it isn’t happening. We think, “If I’ve gained spiritual muscle, shouldn’t I be able to see it?” That kind of thinking can trick us into treating spiritual growth like a gym for the soul. But the truth is that spiritual gains—like their physical counterparts—aren’t always immediately visible.
Even in this sense of déjà vu—a Rosh Hashanah Groundhog Day in which we keep returning to the same struggles and situations as before—it’s important to recognize that change is happening, even if it’s subtle. Within each cycle of the year, there is transformative potential. Every time we stand before God and resolve to do better, we peel back another layer. With each repetition, we gain deeper insight, seeing things in a new light and moving closer to our true selves.
I don’t mean to imply that simply moving through the year equates to having done good. Our actions ultimately define us, not just our intentions (after all, the road to hell is paved with good intentions). But I do believe that even when our actions appear to regress or our growth stalls, the very act of returning to the sacred space of Rosh Hashanah sows the seeds of awareness. Each return is a reminder that transformation is always possible, waiting patiently for us to acknowledge it.
In A Letter in the Scroll, Rabbi Sacks talks about how Jewish time isn’t just a straight line but a spiral—each year circling back to the same moments, from a slightly different vantage point.
Each year we come back to the same moments not because we are stuck, but because we are given a new opportunity to engage with them in a deeper, more meaningful way.
But how do we make sure that ours is an upward spiral, and that we are moving in the right direction over the course of the year? Rabbi Lew says:
Our souls are making this journey, yours and mine. The trip will go better for us if we know where we’re going.
And this:
The great journey of transformation begins with the acknowledgment that we need to make it…
So more than worrying about our past actions or our future growth, the goal during these days leading up to Rosh Hashanah should be to try and figure out where we’re going and what we can do now, today, to try and move ourselves in that direction. Rabbi Lew again:
Our power in this world is considerable, but also very circumscribed. It is only here and now, in this moment, in this place—in the present—that we can act. We cannot act in the past, we cannot act in the future, and most certainly we cannot act through someone else’s experience. So from a spiritual point of view, we need to ask, What can I do here and now, in the present-tense reality of my own experience?
Maybe growth isn’t about arriving at some final destination where all our issues are neatly resolved or about becoming the most righteous person. Maybe it’s about becoming more honest with ourselves, more willing to face the things we’ve been avoiding, more present in the here and now. And as we approach Rosh Hashanah, maybe the goal isn’t to feel like a completely new person. Maybe it’s to accept that we are part of a cycle, a journey that repeats itself, but not without progress. The act of returning, of circling back, is what allows us to grow—not despite the cycle, but because of it.
Have a great week, and keep reading,
Arty
What did you read over Shabbos?
A selection of shared Shabbos reads
Arty,
Agree with JPR, beautifully written and so timely before the high holidays! Also, thx got the cited references. One last point, I never thought would ever love the verse "circling back" after the former Biden press secretary "circle back" Psaki!😂
“Is this process even working?” Okay, are you in my mind?! I’ve been thinking all day about the “slow burn” and how it seems to be life’s path for me…but I can’t accept it! I want everything and I want it now!!! I guess this is what I’ll write about this week 🤣